The dreaded hippies are after me. You as my loyal readers will remember a few months back when my enemies tried to poison me. Well, they have attempted to end my life again; my car was “leaking” brake fluid. Also throughout the lifespan of my blog there have been several separate instances of screws imbedded into my tires. The hippies are afraid to attack me directly so the cowards hide in the shadows. These feeble attempts on my life will not succeed.
I might be worried were it not for the fact that they are both intellectually and physically weak. Some of there best ideas involve lying down and holding hands. How much pot do you have to smoke to think this is a viable plan to stop a war? Their repulsive physical attributes can only be accredited to a steady diet of lettuce and alfalfa sprouts.
The hippies have succeeded in removing my wonderful gas-guzzling car for a few days. My replacement vehicle is an eco-friendly Hyundai. I know it may seem hypocritical to drive this car, but it is free. My dollars are better served hiring private detectives to hunt down these devils and murder them in their sleep. They will never succeed in silencing me!!!
November 10, 2007 at 2:32 am
Well, all I can say is that you’re lucky you don’t lunch at a Panera Bread in Highland Park, or whatever. And in reference to the attempt to poison you, wasn’t that when you were at Wendy’s? Are you suggesting that Wendy’s is run by hippies?
Thank God you didn’t get burdened with a Prius, that would have been intolerably fuel efficient. Something like E-85 Ethanol from corn is more your speed of alternative fuels, because it still leads to the oppression of the little guy, and does nothing to stop depletion of resources. If you’re lucky in the future, you’ll get one of those Chevy “Flex Fuel” vehicles that they’re propagandizing the United States with. That’s like saying it wasn’t rape because you bought her a drink first.
Anyway, i’m not feeling too hippytastic today, just wanted to tell you you’re paranoid.
BTW, thanks for commenting on the Wedding blog, the biggest blow up in the history of the world. Since i wrote it on 11/2, it alone has gotten about half the hits your blog has total. Wow man.
Just wait until some friends have a baby, and i blog about that.
November 10, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Anything I can do to help Robb. There is an update, my Charger is back operational. Damn hippies could even stop me for more than 24 hours. Wendy’s is not run by hippies, but whose to say the hippie populous didn’t plant spies in places where I dine.
I loved the wedding blog and glad to be a part of its success. I told everyone to go to your blog and read it. Will you post a retraction or maybe a clarification?
November 12, 2007 at 5:57 am
Nope, the blog is staying just how it is. I’m not posting apologies or retractions. To me, it’s a thing of the past.
Well, you know how to spot a hippy in hiding, right? they’re the ones lying down, holding hands.
Peace!
December 11, 2007 at 10:29 am
so you told me to go on here and comment on one of your blogs becuase you feel sad when no one leaves you comments….I’ve just read most of yuor blogs and all I can say is wow.
I would have never of guessed you hate hipies so much, but the way you make fun of them i find it hilarious. I love the one of the renesance fair. Theres some messed up people there…adn yet they make fun of you for going there dressed up in jeans and a shirt..